Keeping Staying Alive in Bear Country alive was a no brainer quest. This was a constant thought going through my head as I sat by my dad’s bedside in summer 2025 or in the hospital waiting room as my mom, my sister, and I rotated between being with Dad and waiting in the lobby during the two weeks between the morning when Mom couldn’t get him to wake up and the day he ultimately passed in late July. Staying Alive in Bear Country is a linked collection of short stories Dad had been developing and sharing for decades. Old Joe Grady, the protagonist, was first conjured up when Dad was a young hiking counselor during his college summers. Old Joe was created to motivate campers, but became the star in a novel that, while a work of fiction, is loosely autobiographical of my dad and my family.
Dad first began trying to get Old Joe’s stories published while he was still a college professor in the early 2000s. He read stories on the local public radio station. He sent stories to various publishers with no luck. During my final year of college, I had to author a thesis, and those of us in my major program were required to get our theses bound. As a Father’s Day present that year, I copied the files from Dad’s computer to an original floppy drive and compiled the stories into a document. I wrote a foreword and bound the manuscript just as I had my thesis. Decades later, Dad used this manuscript to return to his dream of publishing Old Joe’s stories.
As it turns out, there aren’t many computers now that can open the original floppy drives that those of us of a certain age can remember from playing The Oregon Trail or Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? The last time I was back in North Carolina visiting, I asked Mom if I could have that first printing of Old Joe’s stories. I brought it to my home, where it’s proudly displayed with a collection of professionally published and bound Staying Alive in Bear Country prints. I don’t recall if I came up with the title of what I printed back in 2002 or whether it was Dad’s choice. Somewhere Between the Devil and Crazy wouldn’t have quite the same ring as Staying Alive in Bear Country, but it sure does give you an idea of the adventures you’ll experience while traversing the life and adventures of Old Joe Grady.
Dad’s dogged determination to get Staying Alive in Bear Country published carried him through much of his later life. Dad retired at a relatively early age and was not good at sitting still and doing nothing. He learned Spanish and worked with the legal aid community in Raleigh, he worked with medical missions, and he continued to revise and rework Old Joe’s stories. I asked him once why he was doing all these activities and he said, “well, I want to keep my mind fresh and I hate crosswords.” The night before Mom couldn’t get Dad to wake up, he was working on his book. He signed his contract with Black Rose Writing in May 2025 and was working to fine tune his manuscript before its final submission. He went to bed that night having refused to give up on his dream of getting his book published and he left this world with a fresh mind.
Fortunately, Black Rose Writing didn’t give up on Dad or Old Joe when Dad got sick. Dad had asked me to read the contract prior to signing it. I remembered some important things from that reading. One section stuck out to me as I sat in Dad’s hospital room. The contract was assignable with the consent of the author and publisher. I worked with a friend, who is an attorney specializing in contracts, and one of Dad’s former colleagues to get the contract assigned to her so she could finish it. When I approached Black Rose’s founder, Reagan Rothe, with the plan, he said “we don’t need to do that. You can finish your dad’s book.” Fortunately, Dad’s former colleague, Dr. Lana Whited, agreed to work with me and over the course of the next 10 or so months, we spoke, texted, and emailed often about edits, revisions, and new ideas. I’ll always treasure helping finish Dad’s book, but I’ll also keep close the friendship and I developed with Lana in finish Dad’s project. A week after the publication date of Staying Alive in Bear Country, we had a book launch event at the conference center in the town where I grew up. There were many people there who had known my dad over the years and we got a ton of great photos of everyone there celebrating Dad and Old Joe. However, I must say, I think one of the best photos of the event was Lana and me standing on the porch outside of the conference center with bear country in the background.
There is so much more to say about Old Joe Grady and Staying Alive in Bear Country, but I want to pivot more to the man behind Old Joe. Pete Crow wore many hats and served many roles for many people. But, to me, first and foremost, he was Dad. He was the person I looked to for advice and guidance. He was my first call, or text, when I was excited, but also my first contact when I was down. I have no doubt that family was the most important thing to Dad. Throughout my life, I have asked myself “what would Dad do?” when choosing a course of action. Rarely has proceeding in the fashion I believed he would have led me astray. This has become even clearer in the most important role I have had, which began January 2, 2017, when I became a dad.
I constantly find myself saying things to my kids, playing with them, leading them in activities, or just being around them and thinking “gosh, this feels like what Dad would have done.” I recently was convinced to – coerced to – coach my 4-year-old son’s soccer team. I spoke with a coach who helps coach my 9-year-old daughter and he said, “there’s nothing more humbling than coaching 4-year-olds.” As it turns out, he’s absolutely right. However, I spent much of our first practice pondering, “what would Dad do?” While I doubt we are developing the next Messi. I am confident this group of kids will have fun, grow, and perhaps learn some important life lessons along the way.
Few people who knew my dad would be surprised by my inclination to resort to “what would Dad do?” when coaching 4-year-olds. However, the depths of Pete Crow and his impact on the world are far greater. There can be no doubt that my dad loved working with kids and helping young minds develop and grow. Dad’s involvement and leadership with youth soccer and canoe programs puts any doubt to rest. Helping mold young minds certainly was one of Dad’s life’s missions, but his purpose reached far beyond. Dad wanted to improve the lives of everyone he touched.
In retirement, Dad sought to keep himself busy. He volunteered with my sister Amy’s fourth grade class, he worked with Mom’s youth mission trips to Africa, he helped with medical missions to Honduras, and he continued to help his local community through Braver Angels by helping to promote cordial political discourse. These merely are examples of the “formal” or “notable” opportunities and organizations with which Dad worked to promote good in the world and to give back. However, Dad’s impact and mission was far greater.
Dad had little interest in notoriety or fame; he wanted to make a difference and leave an impact on the world. Making a difference requires no grand gestures or efforts. It does not necessitate extraordinary acts or overtures. Making a difference in the world requires little more than looking beyond oneself and keeping an eye out for our fellow human beings. Dad famously kept bags of nonperishable food on the floorboard of the passenger seat of his Subaru Outback. He would hand out these bags when he encountered people in need or saw someone who seemed like they’d benefit from a little assistance.
I have tried to live my life in the model of the ideals and examples I learned from my dad. I hope to leave lasting impacts on my kids and their friends through coaching sports teams or just being around. I strive to assist those who may be down in their luck or who need just a little helping hand. For the last 19 years, I have worked as a criminal defense attorney. Many of the people I represent and with whom I work find themselves in the position they are in for no reason greater than bad luck.
There is one client and one case, in particular, that makes me think of Dad and reminds me of the mantra “what would Dad do.” I represented a young woman who, time after time, good fortune and luck looked her in the face and turned its back. At each turn, misfortune would come upon her, subsume her and bury her deeper into the abyss of despair and helplessness. Ultimately, fate caught up with this client and she was arrested for some very serious crimes, but not before she managed to independently improve herself and rid herself of the criminal, drug-riddled, and domestically volatile life to which she had fallen victim. This client is a prolific reader. My cocounsel had sent several books to the jail for this client to read. Earlier this summer, another book was sent to her through Amazon, but the jail refused to let her have it because Amazon mistakenly sent a hardcover book. It occurred to me this is the exact type of person Dad would want to read his book and he’d get a real kick out of his book floating around a jail for people in custody to enjoy and absorb. This is the exact audience for which “Staying Alive in Bear Country” is meant.
Dad left his mark in college classrooms, youth soccer fields, wild and scenic rivers, mobile health clinics in Honduras, and in indigenous villages in Africa. It’s my hope that I can help continue my dad’s legacy and mission. Dad’s mission, told through the life and stories of Old Joe Grady, was to live life to its fullest while simultaneously leaving the world a better place. Experience life. Take risks. As Old Joe learned while venturing out West, “Don’t leave any money on the table. The bigger the risk, the better the payout.” Stay alive until you die!
Living on the West Coast, I didn’t see Dad a lot, but we talked often. We talked about serious topics, such as what kind of world my kids, his grandkids, would be left with when they become adults. We would talk about adventures he was taking or events for which I was training. We would share silly, sometimes mildly inappropriate, stories and jokes that were meant to stay between the two of us, despite my belief he would clue Mom in. I miss the serious conversations and topics we’d address, but I really miss the casual and silly moments that could lighten up even the darkest of times. Working on Dad’s manuscript and helping get it to publication provided me with many opportunities and moments in which I delved deep into serious content and emotionally heavy subjects. But, one of the great things about Old Joe Grady and Staying Alive in Bear Country, is that completing my dad’s life-long project gave me countless chances to laugh about silly moments, many of which I remember as if they occurred yesterday. I also cried about traumatic and sad moments, some of which were new to me and some I got to relive.
Dad’s cancer diagnosis and death were sudden and didn’t provide much opportunity to prepare. When he told us he was sick, I started to think about the future and trying to come to grips with the reality that he would not, in fact, live forever, despite my stubborn belief that he would look death in the face, tell a gripping story, and walk hand in hand through the thicket. I never got to say goodbye in the way I would have hoped, but I can think of no greater closure and way to honor Dad than to have played a role in bring Staying Alive in Bear Country to print and accomplishing the goal Dad had worked for decades to achieve.
